A letter to friends and fellow grads of FIRE School of Ministry
Fellow grads, I have been seeing some of the growing outcry regarding the things that took place in Haiti so many years ago. It reignites a hope in me that has been hibernating for so long I feared it would not be reawakened. While I am thankful to see the outcry, I cannot help but ask myself, “Where was the outrage when us adoptive parents were crying out for our kids, begging for them to be heard, believed, and demanding justice, with little to no response?” I do not ask that out of anger or resentment, instead I am wary. If you are joining our cry for justice out of anger, bitterness, or a desire for revenge towards Dr Brown, or anyone else on staff at FIRE, please do not. Find another outlet for your anger, or better yet, hand it over to God like I had to all those years ago.
I remember listening to my boys tell me about the horrifying things they experienced under the care of the Lashbrooks. I remember Natalie sharing stories and details of abuse from other kids and I remember weeping. It broke me. I wept and I grieved and then I raged. I was so angry, and when we turned to the church, instead of responding with righteous anger, there was a deafening silence. Do you know what followed that? Accusations. We were told we were being greedy, that we were ignorant, un-Christlike, that we were stirring up trouble, that we were divisive. We were told to trust the very people (Globe) who were lying to us and actively working to protect the accused and cover up the atrocities. We were told not to seek legal action, but to keep it within the “church,” we were told not to go public, to stay above reproach, to give them time to sort it out. But nothing was done.
We decided that we could not do nothing. Natalie and Milissa and I decided to go after the Lashbrooks’ donor base, maybe we could force them off the field and then at least we would know the abuse was not continuing at the orphanage. We succeeded. It was our one and only win. We waited and waited for the truth to be exposed, for justice to be served, but nothing happened. Our kids were left to walk through their trauma and healing with no closure, no justice, and the perpetrators were left to walk free. And still the church at large, did nothing. Tom and Caroline Barry were the only ones to walk beside us, stride for stride, supporting us, loving on us, and seeking truth and pursuing justice for our kids. Justice that never came.
My anger grew until it became so heavy that I had to hand it over to God. You might be surprised to hear that he did not take it away. He weeded out all the rage, the bitterness, the hate… and he handed it back to me. It was now a weapon of righteousness to pursue His justice and not mine. He crafted within me a passion for His truth and justice and gave me a revelation of how truth, justice and love are all intertwined. The world withholds the truth and executes their own version of justice and calls it love. God’s love is different, it’s on another level. You cannot express God’s love without justice, and you cannot execute justice without truth.
I won’t lie; after so many years I had all but given up on justice being served in this life. Now that there is new light shining into the darkness, exposing the lies and the sin… I do not want our pursuit of justice to be tainted or colored by hate, rage, bitterness, or a desire for revenge. I want God’s love, truth and justice to have its way and His righteousness to be lifted up.
Isaiah 59 has become my favorite passage over the years: “Justice is turned back, and righteousness stands far away; for truth has stumbled in the street, and uprightness cannot enter… The Lord was astonished that there was no one to intercede; then His own arm brought salvation…”
Again, I am grateful to see more voices join in the cry for justice. Can I ask you to search your hearts? If you find yourself compelled by an anger that is unholy, take it to your good Father and arrange an exchange. Let’s trust Him with our (very valid) complaints and emotions and pursue His justice with holy hands and His righteous anger. Let’s pray for the light to shine in dark places and the works of the enemy to be exposed for His glory and not for a human desire for revenge or justification. I pray that the Redeemer will come like a rushing stream (Isaiah 59:19) and cleanse His church for the sake of His name.
When justice comes, I don’t want to feel satisfied or vindicated. I want to feel thankful that God’s kingdom is being expressed here on earth, knowing that I am a small part of it. And to rest in the knowledge that in my heart, I stood for righteousness and not revenge.
Wander More 